Mulan Asks....I Answer Truthfully

Mulan: [Iceman], if [Poon Boy] and i were to get married, how wild would u make the bachelor party???
Me: seriously, i probably wouldnt have any sluts involved
Me: but there would be lots of alcohol
Me: and lots of ridiculous shit going on
Mulan: what ridiculous shit?
Mulan: lol
Me: vandalism, streaking, mooning, flashing, more vandalism
Me: maybe fucking around with dangerous shit
Me: like explosives
Mulan: -___-
Mulan: omg
Mulan: but whatever happened to bachelor party 101 rules
Mulan: a stripper must be involved
Mulan: haha
Mulan: got that from the office
Me: only if i knew another manslut was there
Me: because everyone would keep her from sleeping with [Poon Boy]
Me: but i know my friends
Me: and they would achieve this by making me sleep with her


Who would definitely be there and why they would try to force me to fuck the stripper:

• Big Mike: has a girlfriend, not the cheating type
• J-Hound: does not drink, is not a man slut
• Trenches: has a girlfriend, not the cheating type, not a man slut
• Das Auge: not a man slut

Who I would need to be there to fuck the stripper and why they would do it

• Mr. 562: I bet I can talk him into it
• Tito: According to Jazzy, never has been drunk; first time getting drunk would make him vulnerable to tits and ass
• Mulan's older brother: According to Mulan, he needs to get some, I could talk him into it
• Mulan's younger brother: see above
• Frat Boy: likes to drink, I will roofie his ass if I have to get him to do it
• Shismal Schlii Schmaa Liqua: has been wanting to fuck a stripper since he found out I did

Why I would not fuck the stripper

• Never again
• My slut days are over contrary to what my friends believe (lack of faith bastards)
• Never again
• I am not giving anyone a legitimate reason to call me a slut
• Never again
• I am not giving Mulan ammunition to counterattack me for bullying her about talking Poon Boy into fornicating in my bathroom at my birthday party......multiple times

Have an airborne day,
565 Airborne, out.