Du Ma May

Some people will say my team leader is a shitty NCO, primarily due to his highly unorthodox method of leadership. Really though, he is a great leader. He still follows the premise that leaders care for their subordinates and put their needs before their own. My TL happened to notice lately I was not acting what became my usual cheery asshole self. I was just a grumpy asshole. I have not even smoked the shit out of Jailbait, all I would do is talk shit and remind how worthless he is to society. My TL probably did one of the hardest things anyone can do; he pulled me aside and asked me what was wrong. When I bullshitted and told him I was fine he asked me if I was suicidal. I laughed. I assured him I was not, I was just disappointed and upset over recent outcomes. Knowing I definitely needed some cheering up he offered what he seems to think are the best solutions to being bummed out:

• Go to a strip club
• Go to a whore house
• Pick up chicks
• Do any of the above during duty hours
• Look up porn on a government computer via proxy servers
• Get drunk during work
• Rape Jailbait
• Rape the A Co supply sergeant
• Drive our government vehicle around post until we find single women
• Wreck the government vehicle
• Kill someone

Obviously we could not do anything he suggested because, well it does not need any explanation. Instead he had me prank call his cousins on speakerphone-of course we used our government issued cell phone. We called the nail salons that they own and manage. Vietnamese gooks owning and managing nail salons, big fucking surprise. I called one of his cousins saying I was going to sue him because "my wife got a pedicure yesterday and now her feet are infected you gook fuck." We got into a pretty heated argument and my vulgar language seemed to be ineffective since English is a second language to this guy. So my TL tells me to cuss at him in Vietnamese. So I said the first thing my TL taught me to say in Vietnamese, "Du ma may(sp? Don't give a fuck)" which literally translates to "Fuck your mother." There was abrupt silence and followed by a random assortment of insults in Vietnamese. My TL and I just start laughing. His cousin stops cussing and says, "Did my cousin put you up to this? That moderpucker!" Then my TL talked to him in their gook language. I was certainly in better spirits after that.

Have an airborne day,

565 Airborne, out.