The Military Ball

I spent three weeks trying to find an excuse not to go, and up until the day before I was convinced I found a legitimate excuse, until my XO demanded I be there. I did not want to go because something told me it was going to be lame, and my instincts were right. It did suck. I went stag and up and by the end of the night, I was glad I did not have a date; everyone else's dates looked bored and depressed, probably since there was no dancing and all we did was sit, stand, toast, eat, and sit. My team leader decided to make it interesting by drinking heavily. Before the ceremony even began he had already slammed 14 shots of liquor and we had only been there for 90 minutes.

By the end of the night, he had consumed two bottles of liquor on his own, accused the XO of ogling another male officer, almost started several bar fights, and made fun of an officer's haircut.



I decided to make use of the ball and piss someone off and I found that opportunity when I saw a soldier that is always a constant source of annoyance. I also noticed he was paying more attention to his friends and the liquor than his date, so I took it upon myself to start a conversation with his date. By the time the ceremony and dinner began she was sitting at my table and he did not notice until the end of the night. She was a skank though and I was not looking for a hook up, so she was quite mad when I refused to let her go back to my room with me. Her date was also pissed that his wife was my date by the end of the night; I laughed as I saw them arguing in the parking lot when I left.



Today I went to the airport with my team leader to pick up a dog he bought from a breeder. Before that we went to eat at IHOP where we made quite a scene. A little boy next to us was being loud and his mother made no attempt to shut him up. My team leader whispers to the boy that if he does not shut up, he is going to have sex with his mom, marry her, and then beat some sense into the boy when he becomes his new dad. When the boy tells his mom what my team leader told him, she starts bitching at him. While she was distracted with cussing him out, I took the opportunity to eat all their food. When she realized this, she let her temper really explode. Some boodro at a nearby table tried to take her side and dared us to meet him in the parking lot. The manager at IHOP said our bill was free if we left immediately. This retard boodro decides to meet us in the parking lot with one of his buddies. They were huge so I flashed my knife, but that just made him pull a knife out of his truck. I am always well prepared so I pulled my telescoping nightstick out of the car. I waved it at them and they freaked and backed away. I used my nightstick to break all the lights on his truck and used my knife to slash his tires. Then I took a marker and wrote "Have a nice day boodro!" on his white truck. Then we jumped in my team leader's car and drove away. We hung around town awhile waiting to go to the airport to pick up the dog and passed several police cars so I doubt we are in any trouble. However, there is the possibility I may be arrested in the next few days, but it is unlikely considering they did not see the license plate on my team leader's car. Stupid boodros, now they know not to mess with me.





Have an airborne day,
565 Airborne, out.