Jumpmaster's out!

If I wore pants, events like this would not happen.


I came home and followed the usual routine: take off boots, take off pants, pinch a dip, piss, nap.

Apparantly before I got back, my roommate ordered pizza and decided to take a nap, so by the time the pizza arrived, I was well asleep. There was some loud knocking on my door for a bit and I resultingly woke up to answer the door, thanks to my roommate being a deep sleeper(always comforting to know our indirect fire support is in the hands of deaf mortarmen).

This conversation with the pizza delivery girl resulted:

Her: I have a pizza for Nicholas?
Me: Lemme go wake him up.
Her: Uhmmm....you're hanging out.
*Yes, my penis was hanging outside my boxers*
Me: Geez, take a picture it lasts longer.
Her: Sorry, well hey! You didn't put it away!
Me: Why should I? You already saw it.
Her: Does it always hang to the side like that?
Me: I was taking a nap on my side, so he probably fell out and leaned to the side.
Her: Did you draw a face on it?!
*I got bored at work towards the end of the day, so I drew eyeballs and a nose on the end of my penis so it looks like a face*
Me: Yeah I got bored at work.
Her: Hahahahaha. I can't wait to tell my husband about this.
Me: Just don't tell him it was me or give him my room number.
Her: I won't. I need to go, can you please get your roommate for me? Haha.
Me: Sure. Nice chatting with you about my scrumdiddlyumptious.
Her: Hahaha. Hanging pretty good by the way.
Me: Thank you.




Have an airborne day,
565 Airborne, out.