Fighting Starvation

I would never go hungry. Seeing how there was a lack of work to do today, and my favorite sleeping place was locked up, I volunteered to get food from Taco Bell with another platoon member. So I wrote down some requests and collected some money, including a handful of coins from Ski, who was not only bouchedag enough to request more food than the money he pitched in, but he also stiffed me by telling me he gave me more money than he actually did. So obviously, the bill came out to more than I had. So I played the old charm and flirted with the cashier AND the manager and not only did they cover the $3.85 I was short, but they also let me place an extra order so I could get myself a handful of free tacos and burritos. Granted it was a pair of boodro hicks from Louisiana that fell victim to my flirtation, but I would like to see someone else be given $12 in food for free.

I rule; be jealous fuckers.





Have an airborne day,
565 Airborne, out.

Christmas Bucket List Revised

Just a few small changes.

• Go to Knotts with the homies
• Help Tito with his senior project; buy Tito porn; take Tito to a titty bar to get his first lap dance, and maybe more depending on the stripper.

Role Model

I have a 14 year old cousin who looks up to me and will often ask me for advice. Usually he asks me for advice instead of his older brother, who is my age, because his older brother is, well an older brother, and will punk him or just kick his ass. I am something like the older brother that does not kick his ass and is there to help, although for being a smart mouth, I am going to kick his ass when I go home. It was after this conversation with him that I realized I am probably a bad role model for him, in regards to morals.

Him: hey watz up
Me: Hey fucker. Did you ask your mom yet if you could sleepover when I go home?
Him: yeah she said i could go are you still coming
Me: No not just go, but sleepover. If you don't spend the night, you can't drink, because if you drink, your mom will smell it when you get in the car
Him: yeah am going stay
Me: Bring a change of clothes, because we have to go to church the next day.
Him: yeah i dont want to be smelling like ivan(his older brother)
Me: Jerk.
Him: lol when he drink he fart'z and pee's
Me: That's cause he drinks alot of beer. Beer makes you fart alot and whenever you drink alot of liquor, you're going to pee alot. It's like drinking alot of water.
Him: yeah i know that bitch drinks to much
Me: Yeah it scares me how much he can drink.
Him: yeah he pee's any were he wants to
Me: Like in the living room and shit?
Him: behind cars trees in front o people
Me: I do the same shit! No smoking though! If I see a cigarette in your mouth I'm gonna punch you in the face.
Him: lol i thought you smoked?
Me: I did. I do something worse now
Him: ohh why
Me: Because smoking can be addictive.
Him: yeah thatz true
Me: When Ivan and I started smoking we said, "this shit isn't addictive, it's all in your head." Now look what happened.
Him: lol he smoke still
Me: I known and I smoked toon until I started smokeless tobacco.
Him: is tobacco bad for you
Me: Yeah it's bad! It can give you cancer and it constricts your veins.
Him: why the fuck do you do it then stupid fat ass
Me: I'm not fat stupid fuck. Because it's hard to quit. It's as if I told you to stop liking boobies
Him: yeah i cant do that, but chew gum or umm do something that makes you forget about that
Me: It's hard because you don't get the nicotine fix. It's not so much the tobacco that is addicting but the nicotine in it
Him: oohhh yeah so its hard to let go
Me: Oh hey, I'm having my friends invite lots of sluts to my party. So don't act like a geek or a tool.
Him: hey hey hey hey hey i chance mother fucker i get girl like ivan gets bills. that mean i get a shit load of girls
Me: That's a stupid analogy. It doesn't make sense fucker. We'll see. These are older girls. So either it'll be a pimp night for you, if you don't act like a retard
Him: i dont care ill still get some. dont worrie its gonna be pimp night. i know how to talk to girls am not a retard anymore.
Me:: We'll see
Him: hey but shit i have a girlfriend
Me: Yeah because she's young and a fucking retard. All young girls are.
Him: hey thats what you think i have gotten more then ivan has ever seen
Me: Hahaha. I doubt that.
Him: ok tell me what he has done with girls
Me: I know he's not a virgin. He's rounded all the bases. Have you even rounded first base yet?Him: oohh his a bad ass now. do you think am that dumb
Me: Do you know what rounding first base is?
Him: more then making out
Me: Fucking duh.



That is the end of the conversation, probably because he went to look up what "rounding first base meant." If this conversation is picked up and continues, I will surely post here again. Maybe it is because of things like this that make my friends shudder at the thought of me being a father.




Have an airborne day,
565 Airborne, out.

My Friendship Is a Treasure

Sometimes I get bored. Sometimes when I am bored, I pull pranks. Sometimes I am an asshole and pull pranks on my friends. Like this text conversation.


Me: I don't have to worry about my ex tryin to get back with me lol
Nessa: Why? lol
Me: She thinks I'm dead
Nessa: WHAT?
Me: Yeah I had my friend tell her I shot myself in the face lol
Nessa: OMFG. You better be lying.
Me: I'm not. He blamed her too but I didn't tell him to say that
Nessa: Omg. That is TOO far.
Me: I don't think so really
Nessa: And why exactly don't you think so?
Me: Because I'm TSF
Nessa: Wtf is TSF?
Me: You may never know.
Nessa: Jerk lol.
Me: Lol. I'm jk. She has a bf now lol
Nessa: Ugh jerk.
Me: Hahahahahaha xD
Nessa: That's not funny
Me: I know you're laughing at least a little bit
Nessa: No I'm actually not. That's cruel to even joke about
Me: But I didn't do it!
Nessa: Still. Joking around that you did is mean.
Me: I wanted to see if you thought I had the tenacity to do something like that.
Nessa: Not to be mean, but I think you totally would. You'd feel bad after, but I know you would
Me: Can I blog about this?
Nessa: Fine if you want your friends to know how cruel your thoughts can be :P



I think all my blog readers know how cruel my thoughts can be at times. Of course, I do not prank any of my friends for the purpose of driving them through anxiety, it is just to have a little fun. Sorry though Nessa. Looking back, that was a tad cruel to pull on a friend, but it is still a bit funny. If you all thought that was bad, just imagine the stress I put my mom under with my pranks.






Have an airborne day,
565 Airborne, out.